Man, jail baloney is awful.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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