you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
