Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
