How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
