Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize