weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
