He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize