He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
