just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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