It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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