Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
