I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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