'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
