There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish i was in the wii world.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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