I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
