5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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