dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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