I will die if light touches me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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