Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I have demons in me.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
