he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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