Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
