Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
