Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
