I wish I could teleport
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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