Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
