didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
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