Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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