this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
3 2 1 whiskey
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
