dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
