smell my finger.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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