marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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