They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
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