Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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