I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
