the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
