you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
