We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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