Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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