Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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