There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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