I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
