Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
wat bout pragnant strippers??
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
