thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She's the barista slut.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Randomize
