Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
