I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Randomize
