You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
