Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
We left the knife in your bed.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
