what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
