maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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