O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
