remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I looked at my own cervix.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
