I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
