i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
