Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So vagazzling was a success
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
