It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
