shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
