The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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