Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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