butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
