lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
