How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
