drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
