I think my fart just growled at me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
