You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
