oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize