Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
