i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
third nipple confirmed
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
