so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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