You can't motorboat a personality
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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