I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
